If you’re like most people, flying around in a big metal tube in the sky isn’t your idea of a fun time. From the terrible food to the cramped space, flying can be a miserable experience. Don’t make the flight even more soul-sucking by breaking airplane etiquette. We’ve compiled a list of the worst-inflight offenders.
The human gas machine
You pass gas the entire flight without getting up to go to the restroom. If your seatmate buries her nose in her scarf, it’s time to take action. Don’t forget that your fellow passengers are trapped on the plane with you and can’t escape your obnoxious fumes.
The bad breath seatmate
You start chatting with your seatmate, only to have her wince and pull away as much as possible. That’s a sign it’s time to grab a breath mint.
The seat switcher
In the past, I’ve obliged when asked to switch seats so that friends and family members can sit together. Now that airlines charge extra for premium seats, I’m hesitant to give up my window or exit row seat to someone else who didn’t plan in advance or pay for a premium seat. I’m not giving up the extra leg room in seat 6A to sit at the very back of the plane, near the restrooms. Sorry.
The seat recliner
You slam your seat back without checking to see if the person behind you has their laptop out on the tray table or the size of a basketball player. I’m not in the anti-seat recline camp but please be considerate of the person behind you. No one wants to have their laptop or their knees crushed.
The queue jumper
You’re at the gate and so excited about your destination that you jump out of your seat and run to the front of the plane. Unless you have a tight connection to make, wait your turn to depart the plane. Waiting your turn means letting everyone in front of you exit the plane before you. Resist the urge to cut in line. If you’re stuck in row 41 and have 15 minutes to make your connection, politely ask other passengers if you can jump in front of them.
The argumentative couple
No one wants to hear you and your spouse arguing for 5 hours straight, especially if your fight causes your kids to cry.
The rule breaker
Think the 1 carry-on and 1 personal item rule doesn’t apply to you? Even if you manage to get on the plane with extra bags, prepare to be glared at by fellow passengers, especially if bin space is on short supply.
The kicker
Airlines keep redesigning their seats to be thinner and lighter which means they transmit the smallest kick. Every time you cross your legs or reach into the seat pocket, chances are you’re disturbing the person in front of you. If you’re a parent, make sure your child refrains from repeatedly kicking the seat. On a side note: The seat in front of you is not a handrail. It turns into a human catapult when you try to use it for leverage.
The undresser
Whatever you do, don’t strip down to your bare feet. Your feet probably stink and no one wants to look at them. One thing that’s even more appalling than bare feet? Placing your bare feet on someone else’s armrest.
The mad dasher
Patience, grasshopper. There’s a reason that airlines board by zones or groups nowadays. Airlines are trying to cut boarding times and get passengers on the plane faster. If you dash to the front of the boarding queue, you’ll most likely be told to go to the back of the line.
The bin stealer
If you’re sitting in the rear of the plane, don’t place your bag near the front of the plane unless instructed to do so by the flight attendants. Airlines should require carry-on bags to be placed in the bin above your seat.
The babies
Like it or not, babies on flights are a fact of life. You should make an effort to quiet your baby, even if it doesn’t work. Fellow passengers will appreciate that you’re doing your best to stop the crying and will usually show some sympathy.
The really sick person coughing everywhere
Sometimes you have to fly when you’re sick, but that doesn’t mean you need to cough and sneeze all over everyone else. There’s nothing worse than boarding the flight and realizing your seatmate is going to be coughing all over you. Do everyone a favor and wear a mask.
What’s your airplane pet peeve?
I was recently on a flight from Detroit to Shanghai in which there were many Chinese adults with children. I must say, the children were exceptionally well behaved. Must be the culture!
I totally agree! i have noticed most Asian children in general are very behaved. Most Americans with children pay no attention to them while they kick the seat in front of them or annoy the heck out of the surrounding passengers with their antics.
The worst experience I have ever had occurred when a young man entered the plane wearing a huge back pack. His seat assignment was directly across from mine. As he lifted and swung his carryon into the overhead his backpack caught me on the side of the head. It felt like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Besides scratching my face the blow bent my eye glasses. My response can not be repeated but this passenger never said a word. Drop dead, sorry about that ,have a nice trip, nothing. What can one say about our fellow passengers.
My pet peeve is the “gum popper” – cracking and chomping gum with mouth wide open! 🙁
I was recently on a 3 hour flight and sat next to this overweight lady. She was greatly “spilling” out of her seat onto mine, and our bodies were touching. On top of all this, she was smelly. She then asked me if I’d mind if we could put the armrest up since it was digging into her side. I replied that I am sorry but I wouldnt be comfortable with that. She gave me this snotty death stare and then promptly lifted up her other armrest (she was in an aisleseat) and shifted herself toward the aisle where a good third of her body was blocking the aisle. An attendent came and told her to put the armrest down, to which she said she couldnt fit in her seat if she did. She was then told she would have to purchase another seat or she couldnt fly, and long story short, ended up holding up the flight while her issue was sorted out. She left the plane to pay for another seat and while I was sitting there an attendent asked if I would mind moving since they had no more seats left in coach for the lady and she needed two consecutive seats. I agreed since it meant not sitting next to this lady. It all ended up working out ok, since they bumped me up to first class for no charge.
Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m inspired!
What aggravates a business or first class passenger the most. When well to do folks insist on packing their entire family in business and first class. Usually unruly especially in the Middle east where the upper class think they rule the world with their money. Men consistently are barefoot and stink and have no control over their family of blabber yaps.
Its called business class for a reason we need to hit the ground running and many of us use that to rest that is why we pay the extra prices.
Add chewing gum crackers to the list, what goes with these people, just about all adults, still smacking their gum like a teeny-bopper. The seat recliner is right behind this person, if you are doing something you know makes the flight very uncomfortable to another why would you be so arrogant and disrespectful? I endorse the gadget to stop the seat from reclining.
All of the problems with flying are caused by the airlines trying to stack two damn many people on the plane. If they have to have more money, raise the rates, don’t stuff us in like freight. Everyone complains about people being too close or having some ones leg or arm where it shouldn’t be. If the seats were larger and spaced further apart we would all be a lot happier. Airlines just don’t get it, they need us we don’t need them. It’s about time we got high speed rail lines, a lot of short flights would actually be faster by rail, because they go from downtown to downtown and are not a long cab way away from where everyone wants to go.
I never had to seat next to a passanger with a dog but I would make a big stink with the airline if they let one seat next to me. I also think airline should limit the seat recline angle so the front seat wouldn’t intrude too much. spme passenger would recline their seats as soon as they were onboard. The flight attendent should verify the carryon at the door before paasenger could get onboard. A large backpack should consider a carryon and not allow to put into the overhead bin if one is already there. Also, passenger should carry back onboard. I had a confrontation with a passenger whose backpack would hit my face if I didn’t push him down hard onto a seat across the aisle. These kids don’t know where their backpack would hit when they turned around. I don’t have symmpathy for the little short old lady that could not place her 100 ibs. over size carryon into the bin either. check the dam thing in, it’s not the flight attendent’s job to lift your bags. .
Sorry, ladies, but applying nail polish has got to be the absolute worst thing you can do. Not only are you confined to an aluminum tube with a bunch of strangers for hours on end, but to then be subjected to those fumes? Wake up 15 minutes earlier and paint at home.
Hilarious but sadly true. I think the most annoying people on airplanes are those who rude to parents who are doing their best to calm their babies.